For the fourth time in two years Belgium is at the time of writing almost without government. The electoral and juridical district of Brussels-Halle-Vilvoorde, known as BHV, is at the heart of the current political crisis. Flemish legislators want to divide the district, separating largely French-speaking, but officially bilingual Brussels, from the other Flemish areas that surround it. That would stop French-speaking politicians from seeking votes in Flemish areas and end special bilingual rights for 70,000 French speakers living in Flanders, but outside Brussels. However, Walloon legislators are blocking the changes, fearing that their power will erode, that the Flemish are doing some legal ethnic cleansing and that the only motivation Flemish politicians have is to further erode Belgium until they see the end of it.

So – not an attractive starter, but at least the context of the current political crisis is explained. Let’s get to the juicy parts now. It’s the first Belgian political crisis ever announced on Twitter. Red Devils coach Dick Advocaat leaves the country and promptly the government collapses. Prince gives a concert in Belgium for the first time since the crisis-ridden 1980s – and it’s crisis again. Do I miss some connection here?

Liberal Open VLD parliamentary Vincent Vanquickenborne, already famous for his leaks and scoops on Twitter, tweeted ‘alea jacta est’, - the die is cast - just fifteen minutes before the official press conference where party-leader Alexander De Croo announced Open VLD would quit the cabinet. Feelings of indignation, anger, resignation and even panic followed. Still, the crisis was in the air. Weeks ago Belgian boyfriend B. already predicted the fall of the government and discussed with his friends whom he should vote for this time, when early elections would be organized.

Flemish and Walloon politicians, opposites in ideology, fight their way through political dossiers, hobble from deadline to deadline, and get more and more alienated from their electorate who already loathe their antics. In their own way they do their best to avoid a rupture, always coming up with another incomprehensive compromise – which is, apart from truly belgian, only successful when both Flemish and Walloon politicians can say ‘they have won’- or just put a hard to swallow dossier “in the fridge”, just as a lazy student does when avoiding assignments.

But the strange thing is that next to their Belgian citizenship, they seem to have left nothing for the Walloons and Flemish to share: they have their own political parties, their own newspapers, magazines, television programs, clubs... They know next to nothing about each other anymore. And Belgium is already such a small country. Not suprisingly, the belgian situation is a true laughing-stock in international media.

The topic of secession seems to be a no-go area. “Belgium will never fall apart”, a friend decidedly told me. “That is not how this country is made.” And indeed, I don’t believe it will burst. Facebook groups calling for a bet that they “can find 10 000 Flemish who do think Walloons are sympathetic” – mission accomplished – only confirm this. However, the group “For Belgium! If Wallonia and Flanders both get 500 000 fans, Belgium can get that too” only has 22 fans…

The common Belgian reacts annoyed to this crisis, which is about a non-problem so technical that only a few people understand what the fuss really is about. They are fed up with the political plotting and on Facebook they are calling for EU Council President Van Rompuy: “This is what happens when you offer your best politician to the EU. We want Van Rompuy back!” Well, he won’t return, but at least they get comforting reactions. “It’s OK. You still have beer!” That is true. Again according to Twitter, the entire Flemish opposition went for a beer at the end of the first long and tiring crisis day. Still on FB, the Belgians are being pitied by people from all over the world. A person from Switzerland – this other federal state in Europe – says: “My sympathies. You should be used to it by now though. Have one or two governments of ours, we have seven and are happy to ship them over.” Maybe not such a bad idea.

Thank God for FB, Twitter and all other social media, they make political crisis just more fun. Bye bye Dick Advocaat, enter Belgium relaunch X… Good luck! |